April Round-Up: Part 1

This month, despite the pouring rain that never stopped, I only managed 22 films.  Here is the bottom 11.  Please check back tomorrow for the top 11 featuring classics with strangely similar titles such as The Vanishing,Vanishing Point, A Night to Remember and Night of the Hunter.  And then there's the new films including 21 Jump Street, Tomboy and Cabin in the Woods.  But what will take the top spot?  Come back tomorrow to find out!

22. Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (Troy Nixey, 2011)

...or this movie.  Actually no do be afraid.  Be afraid that you have just lost a precious piece of your life sitting through it.  It’s ok really.  Just a bit dependent on little CGI monsters that aren’t scary.  And Katie Holmes.  No offence but how does she keep getting work?

21. Apollo 18 (Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego, 2011)

Found footage from space.  Whenever a franchise or trend gets tired, they make the next instalment in space.  Jason X was ridiculous fun.  This is a bit too serious for its own good.  Not the worst ‘found footage’ horror ever made but still not that good.

20. Episode 50 (Joe Smalley, Tess Smalley, 2011)

Another found footage horror.  Not great but like most of them, it has a couple of pretty scary moments.  Looks like this and the recent Grave Encounters are very similar.  TV crews in an abandoned hospital full of spooks and the cameras keep rolling to capture all the fun.

19. Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence (Tom Six, 2011)

Sick Six Sucks.  But you might admire the director for taking horror to extremes.  If you want to watch sick stuff, this film really pushes the boundaries of taste.  If you know the idea, you’ll be pleased or disturbed to know that this time there are laxatives involved.  Lots of laxatives.  Truly and unbelievably sick stuff.  And this is the cut version fortunately.  Thank you BBFC.

18. Field of Dreams (Phil Alden Robinson, 1989)

Found this quote from IMDb: ‘Field of Dreams is one of the strangest films I've seen, and possibly one of the best. When it throws its subject matter at you, you wonder how a story so preposterous can ever work’ No I don’t.  It didn’t.  Preposterous, overly sentimental and weird.  Not quite sure what the fuss is about.

17. Semi-Pro (Kent Alterman, 2008)

The weakest of Will Ferrell’s sports movies.  Then again I haven’t seen Kicking and Screaming yet. Hoping to right an article about Ferrell's sports movies and their representation of masculinity.

16. Southland Tales (Richard Kelly, 2007)

Flawed but fun.  Timberlake lip syncing to The Killers is the stand out scene but The Rock also delivers a funny performance throughout.  Great music and some stunning visuals but neither can hide the films obvious messiness.

15. Saturday Night Fever (John Badham, 1977)

Great dancing but deeply disturbing raping.  Despite the still hugely impressive dance scenes and the social realist vibe, the scene where a girl gets raped but then totally forgotten about as the action moves to bridge stumbling antics reeks of misogyny.  Yes the film is about certain attitudes held by many members of society and does tackle this with the father telling the son washing up is ‘women’s work’ but then this rape scene comes along and is almost completely forgotten about moments later.  It felt ridiculous that the girl in question would stick with these guys after being mistreated so badly.  Left a bad taste in my mouth.

14. Weekend (Andrew Haigh, 2011)

Graphic gay romance.  I might be being a prude as I’ve not seen a lot of gay sex in films before but this film delved deep into two interesting characters before delving deep into their sexual activities.  It’s sweet and engaging but nothing too special.  A very real modern romance.

13. Martin (George A. Romero, 1976)

The magic of vampires takes a stake to the heart in Romero’s realist take on the monsters.  It is dated but still an original and interesting take on the vampire.

12. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (Rob Marshall, 2011)

Killer mermaids, Captain Jack and the hunt for the Holy Grail.  BIG DUMB LOUD FUN.

That's it.  See you tomorrow with the top 11 films I watched in April.  What did you think of these movies?  Any surprises here?  Anything controversial?  Let me know below...