Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Orange memories. Missing Mr Dresden.

Remember when the Orange Wednesday Adverts were funny?  Remember the Orange film funding board and Mr Dresden and his product and promotion obsessed cronies dishing out money to stars to help fund their vanity projects.  I used to look forward to seeing these before a movie. 

Officially known as "Orange Gold Spots", the adverts feature short sketches involving various celebrities.  The fictional Orange executives started out hearing pitches from stars including Sean Astin and Rob Lowe, then after many, many adverts moved into the world of producing the films of the likes of Macaulay Culkin and Val Kilmer with frequently very funny results.  Recently Mr Dresden and his team have disappeared from the adverts and they’ve never been the same since.  So here is my salute to the best, the great, the good, and the just ok of the now disbanded Orange Film Funding Board.  Thank God they’re fictional.

The Best

Sean Astin is good with the goblins

Darth Vader underestimates the power of the Orange side

Rob Lowe’s a sex object

Steven Seagal pitches a rom-com

Roy Scheider’s gonna need a bigger boat

Patrick Swayze is a mute assassin

The Great

Anjelica Huston is creepy

Verne Troyer needs one million pounds

Macauley Culkin’s all grown up

Val Kilmer is difficult to work with

The Good

Snoop Dogg

John Cleese has a funny walk

Mena Suvari swaps leading for cheerleading

Michael Madsen is the call box killer

Sigourney Weaver and snake

Dennis Hopper pitches on the bus

The OK

Danny Glover in Dial Hard

Juliette Lewis is going to sue

Ewan Macgregor makes poverty history

Spike Lee’s down with Orange

Carrie Fisher’s pitch

Daryl Hannah dazzles Mr Dresden

Emilio on the red carpet

Now there’s no more Mr Dresden and pals but at least The Muppets one is quite funny.

And Jack Black’s was ok

And the A Team’s had its moments

Just don’t mention the bloody awful Rio one.  What's your favourite?  Anyone up for starting a petition to get Mr Dresden back?